A Mama's Boy Eulogy (long overdue, that is)

Susan A. Manubay
November 26, 1950 - June 08, 2010

When you lose one of the important people you love, your perspective in life changes dramatically. You begin to realize that life is short and you begin to understand that you have to make the most out of it. You will never know when God will call you back and into His loving arms. Such was the fate of my mother. She died at 59 years of age while her parents died at around 70+ (father) and 80+ (mother). But rather that talking about her death, I will be talking about the colorful life that she had. This is my way of immortalizing her.

She was the first born child of Alfredo Acosta Sr. and Zosima Kinol (November 26, 1950). The siblings have the "academic intelligence" gene as most of the Acosta children graduated with honors during their elementary, high school and college years. According to her, life was hard because they were 10 in the family and being the eldest entailed her to help my grandparents. House chores were obviously part of her routine as my grandmother took care of her other children and my grandfather had to go to work.

She got married to Mario Manubay, Jr. and had 5 children. Like her, I was the eldest of the brood. Like her as well, I was given the heaviest responsibility. And although I can't really say that my childhood life was as difficult as hers, the lessons of being the eldest have been passed on to me at a young age. I had to be the most understanding, the most giving, the most patient, the most forgiving, the strongest, the protector, the role model, and anything and everything in between those adjectives. In other words, the perfect son and sibling.

Of course this idealism has caused much strain between her and myself during my teenage years. Hey I was generally a good kid in my defense. However I rebelled against my parents, to the point of resentment, because I could not see the point that they were trying to tell me. I was what you would call "a rebel without a cause." And I made their lives difficult until a life-changing incident happened during my 3rd year high school. I don't plan to discuss it here since it is not my story but hers. However it was a complete turn around for me. From then on, I tried to listen more to my parents, especially to her.

She was my inspiration because she believed in me. She believed in my talents and my capacity to do good to other people. She saw my independence was my strongest asset. And although this independence has somehow made me distance from my family, she knew that I was a child who could not be stopped easily. At a young age, I knew what I wanted and she didn't stop me from pursuing my dreams.

Upon graduation from college, I immediately got my first job as a teacher at UST High School. My father constantly cut out classified ads from newspapers with advertisements such as "Wanted: Chemist." This happened for about a year. Then, I remember her clearly telling my Dad that if it was my choice to become a teacher he should respect that. And that my fate as a teacher would be different from that of my aunt (my dad's sister who was also a teacher).

My mom was a helpful person. If she has the capacity to help, she will. She has helped countless of my siblings' friends who became her "instant adopted children." She managed to help out her family in one way or another. She was a generous person even to her friends. It was one of the lessons that she had left with us. "If you have the resources and the capacity to help another one, you should do it because you are morally bound to do so." She also taught us to never to be envious of those people who are in front of the line because if we look back, the line is much, much longer than we could ever imagine.

There was no favoritism among my kins. However I felt that she gave her all out trust to me in the decisions that I would make. Sure I would still commit some fumbles along the way but she left me with my instincts and her upbringing to go along with me. Unlike my brother and sisters, it was most often a "yes" for me rather than the opposite.

When my parents separated, the role of being the eldest child shifted to being the provider. At that time, I wasn't ready for the task. I was just in my early 20's when this responsibility was forced down to my throat. Thus began my emotional roller coaster of my life. I made some bad choices then. But she didn't look at me the way that everybody did. She saw that I will be making a comeback because I was a strong person and that she believed in me.

Eventually I did make a comeback. Things became great for me at work and my life. At this time, she was already diagnosed with chronic kidney disease. We dealt with it for the last three and a half years of her remaining life. But even during her sickness, she still believed that we will get through this one way or another. She already accepted the fact that death will come upon her and it was only a matter of time before it happens. In that time span, I could say that it was our best years together as mother and son. It was my turn now to return back the favor. Together with my siblings, we took care of her in her time of need.

Yes it was again very difficult for all of us. We were all drained physically, emotionally, spiritually and financially. But she did not show any sign of weakness. Her faith kept her going. So did I. Until finally the Lord decided to take her away from us because it was her time. There were no regrets for her part because she left us with no unfinished business. And so on June 08, 2010, she left this world to join her parents together with her Creator.

This mama's boy misses her a lot. If God would grant me just one wish that would last for 10 seconds, I would say just to be with my mom and hug her for the last time to say i'm sorry, thank you and I love you.

Cheers to you mom on your 62nd birth anniversary! We may not see each other but I know that you are forever in our hearts. Until we meet again, mom.